The Condition Is Never Permanent

I am still here.

I don’t have a lot to say right now about some things. At least, not here anyway.

What I do have to say is the last 15 months have worn the wear on me. Even as I started with building this little website and wanted to build some sort of online presence, momentum shifted me away from the tinkering and more into the practical. More important things seemed to take their hold, and to me family is more important. I may not always show it or express it but I love my family. Being a single guy – this means family doesn’t live with me, but we talk and we are there for each other. I also have a group of close friends – and acquaintances and my work colleagues and friends. More than likely they probably won’t even read or see this post, but they do know I care.

Thank You friends and family.

As of this past January, I have lost both of my parents. We’ve cleared the house and it will be sold here shortly. I have few ties left to Macon.

In the midst of all of this – working full time, attending graduate school online, and everything else happening around us in the world – pandemics, masks, racial tensions, political upheaval. Where and when will it stop. It never will, but get out of my way because I am pushing through.

I did something this past year, something that I never would have thought possible, until I actually did it. I’ve all but eliminated a great chunk of debt. before I even saw a dime of any inheritance from the estate, by my own willpower and intention – and with the recommendations of my elder financial mentor – I have freed up a large some of my income. I sold a car I didn’t need. I stopped paying for services I didn’t need or would no longer need to have. I emptied out my storage, and purged, purged some more, and purged again. I’m eating better, cooking at home more. I’m starting to sleep better.

I don’t feel stuck. At the same time – I feel more restricted and pressured to do better. I need to do it for myself, my family and my friends. I need to get in some better physical shape. I have some limitations but I know what they are and when to apply them. The condition is never permanent. For better or worse, I am in control of my spending, my eating, what I do and who I spend my time with. Do I write a new blog post? Do I take a break from class or go full bore and finish my Masters degree next year? At work – do I choose path A, or B and/or C? I am blessed with some important options – do I sit still and wait – or do I push forward with intent and purpose. I’ll choose the latter and let the cards fall where they may.

What’s your story?

Quick March Update

Life isn’t slowing down at all.

The phrase “no rest for the weary” has taken hold these past few months.

More content coming soon!

February 2021 Update

Yes, I am still here and I am well.

My life is in a re-alignment phase at the moment. So far, keeping a blog to share my thoughts and musings, and working towards creating video content have made the cut, but they’re still on the back burner for some more immediate and critical tasks. Some days I have to take what comes day by day so I’ll be better able to tackle the future. Whatever that may be.

– 73

I’ve been listening to the Man in Black

Life can be tough, and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

That is easier said than done sometimes, I’m afraid. Sometimes it’s tough to find that silver lining when the cracks are too big to go unnoticed. It’s when you would wish the pain and suffering to pass so that healing can manifest itself again.

Today, if it isn’t one thing, it’s something else. Tomorrow is another day, what that day brings, who knows, but know this: believe it or not but karma is a real bitch. I believe what God provides, God can take away, in an instant. “When the man comes around.”

Please pardon my rambling, and say your prayers to who ever you believe in, and be at peace.

December Update

Welcome Back!

I am here and I have a couple of quick updates on this outlet.

I have one video in the works and several concepts planned, but not yet shot. At this time I am enjoying a break from school and trying to spend some quality time with the family. Family should always take precedence, especially these days.

During the working hours, things are going great!

It’s almost Thanksgiving

Not only in the literal sense, but figuratively too.

Nostalgia has been settling in a lot recently. I suppose when things are not normal for one individual person, let alone society, looking back upon better times only seems fitting, but maybe, that is just me.

When I was a kid, I always thought of Thanksgiving as the beginning of the holidays, I’d get a couple of days off from school and got to visit with some relatives, or they would visit with us. I’d get to see the cousins and my grandparents and aunt and uncles, it was nice. It was cold too. This was the eighties, and as I got older, I became more useful in the Black Friday DoorBuster strategy. As I recall, most of those deals would be on clothes that never made it to the next school year or a crockpot that never saw the light of day in the nineties. But that weekend was family. At some point in the weekend, we would be able to go right around at night and look at Christmas lights. I always looked forward to it year in and year out.

By the time I got in middle and high school, things were definitely changing. Friends were more involved in the weekend activities, and eventually having to work on Black Friday and most of the weekend came into the picture. The faces were all the same, just tad bit older and wiser. Well, sometimes not, as people come and go in and out of our lives. The older siblings eventually would leave, and typically show up as a surprise guest on occasion when their military obligations allowed. It was nice.

After high school, things began to change. Family visits happened less often, work became a higher priority, and traditions began to fade. By the late nineties, the weather was also noticeably warmer. Friends were typically tied up with family or work obligations. I was also a little late leaving the nest. I decided to go to college instead of the military (I’ve never been good at following orders) so I never got to do the surprise visit thing. I stayed at home, worked and went to classes. I overheard a conversation or two about when I was going to move out. But I had a good thing going and later on was paying a little rent and mostly relied on eating out day to day. All that would change soon enough.

One minute, I’m on track finishing school and getting out of my parents hair, the next I am married, an expected father, under anothers’ roof, yet still working and even closer to graduating college. One of those years out of that four year run was one of the first years I didn’t spend any time at my parents. Other than a phone call, that was it.

When life had changed (the expected father portion fell victim to prenatal tragedy) and I was back on the bachelor stand, for several years Thanksgiving turned into just another, and unseasonably warm day.

Fewer visits to and from family happened. With the exception of a couple of Black Fridays, I never really hung out with friends. The only real highlight was a day off of work.

Then something happened. After a decade of mediocrity, new traditions had formed. My oldest brother and his family were able to accommodate a larger family gathering it his place became the new go to spot. By this time I had already moved from Macon, and anything was better than taking a trip to Macon, it seemed. Visiting the parents (and Nu -Way) were typically the only reasons to go.

The year before dad passed away, Thanksgiving, for me had officially returned. I started some of my own traditions, including the annual viewing of “Planes, Trains and Automobiles.” I was also named Grand Master of Mashed Potatoes on Thanksgiving, a title I do not foresee giving away any time soon. I’ve also been the arranger of the pre dinner Thanksgiving photograph.

I am thankful for Thanksgiving again. I get to see friends and family, and I am thankful they get to see me.

But then this year happened. This is most likely my mom’s last Thanksgiving with us. There have been concerns on wellness. I never thought I would have to pass a test to feel comfortable about visiting with family for Thanksgiving. We’re all good.

But for now, there is a little work to be done, a movie to watch and the potatoes are standing by for preparation.

Thoughts for Today – Veterans Day 2020

I needed to take a minute this afternoon to stop and take a quick breath.

This world we’re in is turning quite a bit crazy. A lot of people think we’re on the downward spiral. Maybe the old ways of doing things are going downhill. Something will have to fill the role.

I watched maybe one minute of the left and right news outlets and within 30 seconds I was able to call crap on what both were saying. You might as well just rebrand them to what they are America, the Republican Channel and the Democrat Channel. I get that they need to fill in time with their editorial opinion. Seriously, who really wants to watch people yelling at each other about politics all evening. Not I.

On that note, that is not all the news I’ve watched or paid attention to in the past 40 + years. I’ve been involved in journalism before. What we are producing today can hardly be considered coming from an objective, truthful angle.

To all the war veterans and their families, today I say thank you for your service and sacrifice for our freedoms in the Unites States.